when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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