it wasn't lemon gatorade
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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