I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
