she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
