I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
