omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
