it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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