I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
