I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You are the jesus of drinking
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
