Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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