if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
