She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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