News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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