chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
