i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think my vagina is haunted
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
