This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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