You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
