he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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