u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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