i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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