your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
