Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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