I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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