gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
