whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize