After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
the raccoons are back...
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