my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
