Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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