I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
