Welp...herpes.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
