it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
