Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i now understand why vodka
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
