If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
