he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize