I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
A+ Viking dick
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
