You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
There r osticjed everywhere
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize