He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
