He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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