that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
whose ass print is on the piano?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
