All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
