Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
