i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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