Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
