just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
