you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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