i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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