I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
