Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
