I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
