Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
