yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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