I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You dont lie about slip and slides
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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