Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
