I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
