honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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