And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
