I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
