I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Found your dick twin last night
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
