M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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