she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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