Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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