There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize