Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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