Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
