The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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