we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
