Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
