What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
