she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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