I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We left the knife in your bed.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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