There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
