so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
