But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
