We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
