I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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