I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
