ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize