How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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